Childhood memories. Or the lack of. A sudden intense emotion of sadness struck me this morning when I saw Sapana bahini being hit with a stick by her mother. She cried. She fell to the ground. She continued to smack her on the back as she lay there helpless on the dirty ground. I ran away. I cried.
Emotions and Connections. I woke up this morning already weakened from drinking too much raksi (local home made millet wine) last night. My lungs are filled with mucous from this bad cough which has been dragging on, making breathing so difficult in the morning as heavy mist falls through the hills and enters our room. It will only get worse as winter approaches. As I cough up my lungs Jurges calls me to see if I’m ok. I go to sit with him in his bed. There we connected. I tried on his brass bracelet which he has stopped wearing since he put on his mala beads around his wrist. This bracelet represented paganism to him. The wheel of time… This Brought back memories of when I used to so often paint the spiral which is painted in many of our prehistoric temples. The wheel of life I used to call it. Never ending spiral. Never ending life. When I look back now, I realise that maybe I always believed in eternity. That the soul will live on. Whether in another being or in another realm, it will live on.
Sharing and listening. As I explained to Mindy, Jurges and Jannu why I cried this morning, Mindy shared her real story with us. The beautiful realization as we listened and discussed, that all we need is love. Taking love away from people or not giving it, not receiving it, is like no longer living. Just existing.
The power of sharing our deepest secrets. Our fears. Our insecurities. It’s brought me so close to people in recent months. Just being more able to share. Or even more so having the ability to listen. Having the ability to let others trust you. Creating a sacred space together. Whether eyes closed or open. A special place. A place of trust. A place of security and belonging where each member of this space can express and share freely with no inhibition. Just truth. Completely naked and stripped down from ego and expectations. Judgement does not play here.
The power of sharing. Wow. I say this filled with gratitude. I feel so connected. More and more each day. Connected to myself and the people I am living with. My new family.
Thank you to Dora and Simon who introduced me to this beautiful tool. Thank you to Anna for inviting them to Emma’s hens and exposing us to this new world of nakedness. Thank you Emma and Dan for showing each other and people around you love. Thank you to all those who have made me. Who challenged me. Who brought me to this place. Thank you.